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Commendation and Tender Reprimand
18 April 2009
 

I have spent most of my life looking for admiration and approval.  If the sin of Cain was to offer his gift to God in the hopes of approval – I now understand the sin of it.  Our offerings to God can only please if it is what He desires.  Able brought a gift pleasing to God.  Cain brought a gift pleasing to himself.

While my childhood was not without its hurts, I had as close to an idyllic childhood possible this side of Eden.  This‘addiction’ was not formed from some deep seated crisis in my childhood that needed inner healing, it was/is an inborn schism in my nature due to original sin - that needed forgiveness and healing!

Over the last two years I’ve known God’s comfort so close and sure.  I’ve seen some areas of my life and past offerings die before my eyes – and I’ve seen some of those things raised to life in ways I could never have imagined – or probably would ever have chosen - for death is always painful. Within His comfort and leading He’s shown me new and deeper things of Himself than I’d ever known before – such that I’ve felt “born again” again – again and again at the unveiling of these things…

John 12: 24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

On the one hand I’ve been commended of God… like this versein Revelation 2…

I know your deeds, your hardwork and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, thatyou have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false.  You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

But I’ve known His tender reprimand as after the ‘return’ He showed me this which follows immediately on from the portion above:

Yet I hold this against you:You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 

I’m so grateful He drew me back in before I even realized I’d left. I see it now – but for a long time I did not.

Thanks God that you take our fumbling efforts and use them to your glory. Thanks that there is no condemnation In Your Name.  May we honour Your Name more as we know You more.  Thanks for your tenderness in the different kinds of deaths we move through, and thanks for your promise of Life.  Amen.